fragment memories
by panpanda90
Summary: my life is so much better before you come around.. Bad at summaries T-T. kogixsaniwa.


**Sorry for my broken english and typo! T—T this my first time writing fanfic tho..**

 **anyway...please ejoy and comment the story..**

 **CHAPTER 1**

 **The Arrival**

 _You know I can't take one more step towards you_

'cause all that waiting is regret...

Kogitsunemaru pretty sure she is avoiding him. It's been 6 days since he came to citadel and not once his nushi-sama have a conversation with him. A real conversation. She's been speak to Ishikirimaru, having a long conversation with Mikazuki,smiling to Mitsutada, laughing because of Tsurumaru prank, even playing with Gokotai. But not to him...only once she's speak to him. That's the moment he just arrived.

" Welcome to my citadel.." she said. And then she's gone. Leaving him speechless until Tsurumaru come to giving him a tour around citadel. And that's supposed to be the saniwa's job by the way. And the next 2 days he didn't see her. He sometimes hear Mitsutada whisper to Mikazuki about she locking herself in her room. And sometimes he saw Mikazuki or Mitsutada or Tsurumaru knocking her room but no answer.

These toudan is very good to him. He have no doubt about it. But there's something odd and Kogi doesn't know what it is. The 3rd day finally she show up with dark circle and red puffy eyes. Is she crying for the past two day?He thought. And then the 4th and the 5th days just like a blur for him. His nushi-samaspoke to him by another toudan's. Usually Mikazuki or Tsurumaru pass over her order to him. Once he caught the saniwa stare at him. But the second their eyes met, she looking away.

The saniwa behaviour sure making him anxious. What's wrong with him?. Is he making a mistake?. A fatal one maybe. But that's not possible. He's barely know what to do. Beside, He's just arrived one week ago. He's really want to know what's wrong and he make sure to himself that he will get the answer right through nushi-sama mouth.

Kogitsunemaru wandered down the hall towards the kitchen. The sun was only just starting to rise and most of the toudans and servant was still asleep. Even Mikazuki, who always woke up earier than everyone else still dreaming In his slumber. It's been a month now since he came and he already accustomed to live in citadel. And he's not making a progress to approach the saniwa. Today is unlike another day. As much as he want to linger in his bed, his stomach keep grumbling and rambling non stop. And finally he surrender to the power of hunger. When he open the kitchen door he didn't expect that nushi-sama will be there. She was so surprised that the glass she's holding is fall and crash to the floor. She pick the glass shred from the floor.

"I.. I'm sorry if I surprise you.." Kogi hurry to help her.

"no..no.. it's not your fault.. I.. I just didn't expect you to be here on the time like this." she said. Kogi taken a back a little. That's the longest sentence she ever said to though its clearly she doesn't want him to be there and still, she doesn't look at Kogi.

"You know.. that's the longest word you ever spoke to me." Kogi said absentmindedly.

She flinch a little. Looking at the floor still picking up the broke glass. There's a blood flowing from her hand and she didn't realize it because her mind is busy concentrated on trying to settle the butterflies that were doing callisthenics in her stomach.

"stop...stop it... you hurting yourself. Just let me clean this up. " Kogi who saw the bloody hand of her. Hurry to hold her hand and pick the glass from her hand. He hurry up to clean the glass and search for cloth and bandage. He carefully clean the wounds with water. He hear she gasp several time before he bandage her hand. The silence between them is unbearable.

"there.. it's done.."

"thankyou.."

"that's not the problem.. beside.. it was my duty to protect you.."

he took a deep breath. Maybe this is the time he asking her whats wrong. Maybe this is his chance.

" nushi-sama.. I-"

" M maybe I should go.." she stand up abruptly and walk past Kogi. He doesn't want to lose this chance. He want a clear answer right here right now. So he' gripping her arm prevent her to go. He spu her around so he could see her face. But she turned her head to another direction.

"tell me..why you avoiding me since the day I came here.."

"i'm not avoiding you."

"then why you never spoke to me like you spoke to everyone else? Why you did't look at me in the face as we speak? Why you send another person to order me around and not yourself?"

" you know Kogi... I really need to go.."

" no! I'm not letting you go until you answer my questions."

" let me go.. you hurting me.." realize his action, Kogi remove his hand from her arm.

"look nushi-sama..just look at me"

She slowly lift up her eyes to look at Kogi face. Her heart crimson eye, that nose, that lips. She never once forget him. His limpid eyes has the depht that she didn't notice the first time.

He's staring at her. OK... staring at her was a huge mistake. Meeting her gaze caused the intense gut wrenching physical reaction he'd never felt before. His stomach churning and he felt as if he were falling from a great height. His mind kind of blurred. A piece of image flashed on his mind.

What was that?

"just... i'm sorry Kogi..."

sorry? Sorry for what?

"i just don't want to hurt you.."

you already has..

"just stay away from me..."

how can I?

She start to walk out of the room, but then Kogi start to say something.

"you know nushi-sama... I started to thinking that you dont want me in the first place..maybe you want someone else instead. I'm sorry to dissapoint you."He said that with that sadness smile.

And then he walk out of the room leaving her there.. Suddenly he's not feeling hungry anymore...

 **there.. chapter 1**

 **i hope you enjoy.. i will update soon 3**


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